Losing It
'Yes I'd love for you to come over - We'll try out 'other things' ;) x'
This is the message I received from Alex late last night.
Which basically means, in my case, he wants to have sex.
I know that this should be good news. Well, it IS good news. It's not that I don't want to. I do want to. But I guess I'm just a bit hesitant...
For two reasons...
1. I assume he wants me to be on the recieving end (he said, long before he saw mine, he can't take anything bigger than himself so I can only assume I'm getting it...). Which is fine by me, but I have NO IDEA how to 'prepare' myself for such an event...
2. I'm actually getting pre-sex jitters. (seriously... could I be more cringeworthy?) when I first had (hetero) sex the same thing happened. I froze up. I bricked it. I was basically unable to form sentances on the way to my girlfriends house. Its like excited/constipation/sugar rush mixed together in your bowels. When I first went to Alex's house it was the same. Not. Fun.
So I'm kind of in limbo at the moment. But it's not a major drama. I think once I figure out the answer to 1. the rest will sort itself out...
To be fair as far as first times go I'm sure there are PLENTY of people who have been in worse positions. I guess I just don't really know what to expect?
To be fair as far as first times go I'm sure there are PLENTY of people who have been in worse positions. I guess I just don't really know what to expect?
The funny thing would be if I was completely off target and 'other things' didn't mean sex at all. But something else altogether. (handcuffs? ... cos I could go for that ... just saying).
But on the bright side. This blog was shorter.
Comments appreciated... Support REALLY appreciated... =S
BACK TO WORK TOMORROW =)
BACK TO WORK TOMORROW =)
Sam
27 December 2009 at 18:01
Be the bottom for somebody is a lot about manning up
27 December 2009 at 19:06
Yeah I know I'm being stupid. Just a bit nervous I guess...
27 December 2009 at 19:21
Oh no, you're not being stupid, it's completely normal. Just try to relax, you're gonna have fun whatever his intentions are...
29 December 2009 at 05:12
as ridiculous as it may sound, just google it and it will tell you how to prepare. but being nervous isn't going to help. then again, I've never bottomed (I don't feel I'm ready for it at the moment), so I'm not sure what to expect.
Just remember; push your boundaries, but as soon as you feel scared, and it's no longer fun, tell him and, if he's a decent guy, as he seems, he should stop. If he doesn't, stop and leave.
Take care of yourself :) I've been away for a bit so I have a bit of catch up to do haha
xx